Screamless Parenting

Do you believe in that? I do. But as much as I believe in that; I must admit that I have a doubly hard time doing that. I also have a hard time believing in parents who say they have never screamed at their kid(s) –not once, not ever. My apologies, but I need more than lip service to believe that. But I will not get into that now.

My husband, who is working away from home, has not screamed at Matt ever but maybe that’s because he doesn’t feel the stress/pressure of parenthood 24 hours a day/7days a week/30 or 31 days a month. (Or maybe he’s just so patient, so unlike me.)

But okay. So I believe, and I try not to scream. In fact, I am trying everyday. But that is not to say that there was no instance that I did not fail, albeit not without remorse or guilt. I should say I failed a handful of times in the past, and they always make me feel wretched. There were even times I truthfully feel like a monster mom, like my kid doesn’t deserve a mother like me. And no matter what the situation was, I feel there’s just no excuse that could justify screaming. And that what’s making me feel so low in the spirit in those times.

So in my attempt at screamless parenting, a long time ago, I devised a way, a maybe-silly way to keep myself from screaming while emotionally high-strung. I recorded voice messages in my phone! And play these when I get exasperated already and feel like screaming.

“Matt, please behave.” “Listen to Mama and be a good boy.” “Do not climb.” “Please drink your milk.” And lots of other of messages that are devoid of any hint of anger or irritation. Although I cannot say of the ratio of success I get with these recorded messages (and there could be a downside to this :D), they at least give me an option, a detour, a maybe-better way around a sticky situation. And also gives me a breather until I have put my raw emotions in a tight rein or until I have collected myself. They have saved me – a lot of times already from becoming a monster mom and feeling monstrous myself. Not to mention, saving me the exertion of saying everything a hundred times. :D

I had wanted to have my hub’s voice recorded too, just so there’s a balance to what Matt hears. I really should have done it a long time ago. But up until last night, I have only been reminding myself to do that but have been forgetting all the time when he’s home. But finally, I have what I needed in my phone now (there’s even an I-love-you recording too). I have even tried it this morning, with satisfactory result. :D