Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Ma's Corner 3/17/06:Little Sacrifices
Sacrifice is the seal and trademark of becoming a parent. An inevitable part of parenthood. A reality that I've learned these days.
Everyday, when I leave my son to my father, my heart breaks. Everyday, I spend the last minutes at home (before leaving for work) lulling Matt to sleep in my arms with some songs. Sometimes I'd run the risk of getting late just so I can hold him in my arms a little longer, and just so he can continue sleeping (he usually wakes up when laid down to bed). Oh, how my heart bleeds! I'm torn between my responsibility with my son and my work. Everyday I have to decide whether to leave him with my father or file a VL and stay at home. But everyday, I choose to work -because we need to secure Matt's future.
I know there are other working moms out there who, like me, are in this same boat. My mother, when we were still growing up, for instance. She'd used to say that she made sacrifices for us all--her five kids. For one, she passed up her chances for a promotion because she knew it would bring more work responsibility and more pressure, with less time for her family, she would say.(She only applied for a promotion after the 4 of us graduated in college.) Now, I have come to understand better how my mother must have felt those times. Somehow, I know I am bound to make the same sacrifices just like her .
Lately, I have spoken with my boss about my schedule preferences on company events. Some of which I have no choice but to choose later dates. These days, I'm not so thrilled with activities that could bring me away from home for more than 12 hours.Trainings. Field assignments. Office work that requires long hours. So I simply decline these. If I'm not home beyond 5:30PM, I would worry 'coz aside from my son, there are things waiting for me like bottles to wash and sterilize, clothes to wash and iron.
I was not a workaholic but I used to go out of my way to be productive in the workplace.Those days. Simply put, my priorities have shifted. I know this would have an effect on my performance appraisal. But like my mother, there are far more important things in life than a career upgrade.
Everyday, when I leave my son to my father, my heart breaks. Everyday, I spend the last minutes at home (before leaving for work) lulling Matt to sleep in my arms with some songs. Sometimes I'd run the risk of getting late just so I can hold him in my arms a little longer, and just so he can continue sleeping (he usually wakes up when laid down to bed). Oh, how my heart bleeds! I'm torn between my responsibility with my son and my work. Everyday I have to decide whether to leave him with my father or file a VL and stay at home. But everyday, I choose to work -because we need to secure Matt's future.
I know there are other working moms out there who, like me, are in this same boat. My mother, when we were still growing up, for instance. She'd used to say that she made sacrifices for us all--her five kids. For one, she passed up her chances for a promotion because she knew it would bring more work responsibility and more pressure, with less time for her family, she would say.(She only applied for a promotion after the 4 of us graduated in college.) Now, I have come to understand better how my mother must have felt those times. Somehow, I know I am bound to make the same sacrifices just like her .
Lately, I have spoken with my boss about my schedule preferences on company events. Some of which I have no choice but to choose later dates. These days, I'm not so thrilled with activities that could bring me away from home for more than 12 hours.Trainings. Field assignments. Office work that requires long hours. So I simply decline these. If I'm not home beyond 5:30PM, I would worry 'coz aside from my son, there are things waiting for me like bottles to wash and sterilize, clothes to wash and iron.
I was not a workaholic but I used to go out of my way to be productive in the workplace.Those days. Simply put, my priorities have shifted. I know this would have an effect on my performance appraisal. But like my mother, there are far more important things in life than a career upgrade.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Ma's Corner 3/14/06: Way to go!
There is enough reason to celebrate today. My son is 4 months old and I also celebrate my fifth year of service with the telecoms company I'm currently working for. Apart from the cash reward, I am lucky to have a regular job compared to millions of jobless Filipinos.
But not so long ago, after giving birth, I considered resigning just to be a full-time mother. But we couldn't afford to give up my job, literally. The monthly salary and other benefits I am enjoying now help us to get by with our bills and expenses at home. The compensation I receive --although not much-- goes a long way in taking care of Matt's needs. But how I wish to just stay at home and take care of my growing son's other non-material needs.
But not so long ago, after giving birth, I considered resigning just to be a full-time mother. But we couldn't afford to give up my job, literally. The monthly salary and other benefits I am enjoying now help us to get by with our bills and expenses at home. The compensation I receive --although not much-- goes a long way in taking care of Matt's needs. But how I wish to just stay at home and take care of my growing son's other non-material needs.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Ma's Corner 2/25/06: Sleepyhead
I slept in the office today..Not a good sign -not the perfect work attitude, ey? Honestly, I’ve been longing for an uninterrupted sleep, even just for 2 hrs. Having a baby makes one forget of the pleasure of an 8-hr sleep. And to think during my pre-Matt days I have been a consistent 8-hr sleeper and a must-nap-in the-afternoon advocate. Gone are those days. Feels like a lifetime has passed..long time ago.
Yesterday, I woke up from Matt’s babyish talks. He’s already awake at 4:30 AM, too early for the bone-weary mom. With a little throbbing in my head, I tried to humor my baby and had his o-o time even if I wanted so much to go sleep. But Matt didn't defecate in our first attempt, so I dragged my head off the bed and tried opening my eyes as much as I could, to try again- with the thought of sleep slowly leaving my consciousness as minutes passed by with me concentrating on coaching Matt to defecate. I was already sweating but still no poop came from Matt. (It was only at 8AM when he had passed out his dirt.)
But then, even if Matt is asleep, I cannot leave him in the room and do other stuffs. I had to be contented watching him , feeding him, singing and rocking him back to sleep - and making the baby scrap book, in between.
I must have dozed off in the afternoon but only to be awakened by Matt's movement beside me. With one look at my smiling son's face, thoughts of sleeping was completely erased. Vanished. Evaporated.
But for now, I had the liberty to go to sleep. Anyway today is a Saturday. Working during weekends have their advantages,too (smirk!). With all the tasks assigned to me already done, I cannot be guilty to avail of a little time for a break. To refresh myself, to get rid of the zombie-like me, to be effective in the workplace (if ever some task comes up later in the afternoon). Excuses, excuses..Haha.
Yesterday, I woke up from Matt’s babyish talks. He’s already awake at 4:30 AM, too early for the bone-weary mom. With a little throbbing in my head, I tried to humor my baby and had his o-o time even if I wanted so much to go sleep. But Matt didn't defecate in our first attempt, so I dragged my head off the bed and tried opening my eyes as much as I could, to try again- with the thought of sleep slowly leaving my consciousness as minutes passed by with me concentrating on coaching Matt to defecate. I was already sweating but still no poop came from Matt. (It was only at 8AM when he had passed out his dirt.)
But then, even if Matt is asleep, I cannot leave him in the room and do other stuffs. I had to be contented watching him , feeding him, singing and rocking him back to sleep - and making the baby scrap book, in between.
I must have dozed off in the afternoon but only to be awakened by Matt's movement beside me. With one look at my smiling son's face, thoughts of sleeping was completely erased. Vanished. Evaporated.
But for now, I had the liberty to go to sleep. Anyway today is a Saturday. Working during weekends have their advantages,too (smirk!). With all the tasks assigned to me already done, I cannot be guilty to avail of a little time for a break. To refresh myself, to get rid of the zombie-like me, to be effective in the workplace (if ever some task comes up later in the afternoon). Excuses, excuses..Haha.
Ma's Corner 2/17/06: Missing You
For the 1st time since I gave birth to Matt, I have yet to face a new challenge--and that is to survive not seeing him for a day or more. With my present job, work-related activities – such as trainings, company events, seminars--could bring me away from my baby. And I hated this part of my job. During my pre-Matt days, I would welcome this opportunity as a break from the monotonous work in the telecoms. But now I dread this, I just hate the thought of leaving Matt.
I was in Cebu last Feb 16 for HR Cascade--the last batch of the cascade. I opted to be in the last batch for obvious reason that I want to stall some time for me to prepare and for my baby to be ready. Still, I silently prayed it will be postponed to a later date - to no avail.
Prior to my departure date, I have been telling Matt that I'd be away for 2 nights and 1 day and that he'd be left with Nanay and Tatay, his grandparents. With my son being a 3-month old baby that he is, this would sometimes elicit a frown as response; another time, a smile and at times, a cry. I cannot be sure if he can understand what I was saying but maybe I was passing on my emotions- of fear, anxiety and worry-- to the baby which makes him cry.
The afternoon of Feb 15 was spent with Matt- feeding, playing, singing, rocking him, and more. It's almost time to go, but he's still asleep in my bosom. When it was time for me to leave, I gently put him down to bed and he woke up with a start and cried. I had to force myself to turn away before the urge to stay engulfs me.
From my sister's account, this is what happened after this: Matt went to sleep in my mother's arms. Before midnight, he woke up crying. Maybe because for the 1st time his pacifiers -my breasts- were not offered, he cried more ..and sooo very loud, waking up everyone in the house. My Mama rocked him in our living room (chhanging the environment), and he must have cried himself to sleep an hour later.
Me on the other hand, was a complete mess while in Cebu. Mentally and emotionally, that is. I was physically present yet mentally absent that my peers had to laugh at the blunders I made. And how uneasy it was! I milked myself every hour just to keep my breasts from getting too engorged, (ouch!).
Oh, how I longed for Matt to be in my arms and to empty the weight on my bosom. Literally and figuratively.
I was in Cebu last Feb 16 for HR Cascade--the last batch of the cascade. I opted to be in the last batch for obvious reason that I want to stall some time for me to prepare and for my baby to be ready. Still, I silently prayed it will be postponed to a later date - to no avail.
Prior to my departure date, I have been telling Matt that I'd be away for 2 nights and 1 day and that he'd be left with Nanay and Tatay, his grandparents. With my son being a 3-month old baby that he is, this would sometimes elicit a frown as response; another time, a smile and at times, a cry. I cannot be sure if he can understand what I was saying but maybe I was passing on my emotions- of fear, anxiety and worry-- to the baby which makes him cry.
The afternoon of Feb 15 was spent with Matt- feeding, playing, singing, rocking him, and more. It's almost time to go, but he's still asleep in my bosom. When it was time for me to leave, I gently put him down to bed and he woke up with a start and cried. I had to force myself to turn away before the urge to stay engulfs me.
From my sister's account, this is what happened after this: Matt went to sleep in my mother's arms. Before midnight, he woke up crying. Maybe because for the 1st time his pacifiers -my breasts- were not offered, he cried more ..and sooo very loud, waking up everyone in the house. My Mama rocked him in our living room (chhanging the environment), and he must have cried himself to sleep an hour later.
Me on the other hand, was a complete mess while in Cebu. Mentally and emotionally, that is. I was physically present yet mentally absent that my peers had to laugh at the blunders I made. And how uneasy it was! I milked myself every hour just to keep my breasts from getting too engorged, (ouch!).
Oh, how I longed for Matt to be in my arms and to empty the weight on my bosom. Literally and figuratively.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Ma's Corner on Valentine's day
Today is a special day. Not because today is Valentine’s day (maybe that’s one..heheh) but because today, my darling Matt is already 3 months old.
Three-months. I can’t believe how time flies. From a 2.6-kl infant, now Matt has grown up quite unexpectedly (buyag! and I don’t have to tell you how heavy he is now, you guess for yourself when you see his pic here). He already knows how to do some tricks like the “close-open-your-hands” and “do-the- beautiful-eyes” when prodded. He smiles, even chuckles when we talk to him, and only Heaven knows what is so funny – our talk or our faces- which tickles him. And he talks back, sometimes with a smile on his lips (eyes dancing!) and at times, with a pout and creased brows. And he break dances! Break dancing here means moving his head as far back as possible, neck stretching, arms wildly waving, legs kicking and body wiggling. Hard to imagine huh? It’s even harder to hold him if he breakdances, which is quite always. Things are going good for Matt- thanks GOD! And we pray for his welfare always.
Three months. And Matt’s Mama is already back into wearing some of her old clothes and pants. Really huh??!! Really. Well, who would not lose those pregnancy-fat when I do almost all chores for Matt- from cleaning & sterilizing his bottles , washing & ironing his clothes, to diapering and waking at night-almost hourly to breastfeed (NOTE: Hubby is away.). Not that I am complaining because I couldn’t complain (God has been so good to us) and there’s really nothing to complain if you get down to the bottom, that this is all for one dear son. Then again, my mother relieves me with some of these motherly duties-and boy I’m just soooo grateful! And there’s just so much to be grateful—like these duties, which keeps me trim that I don’t need to go to the gym anymore (saves money) and I don’t need to buy myself more new clothes (saves much more money). Thanks GOD!
Three-months. I can’t believe how time flies. From a 2.6-kl infant, now Matt has grown up quite unexpectedly (buyag! and I don’t have to tell you how heavy he is now, you guess for yourself when you see his pic here). He already knows how to do some tricks like the “close-open-your-hands” and “do-the- beautiful-eyes” when prodded. He smiles, even chuckles when we talk to him, and only Heaven knows what is so funny – our talk or our faces- which tickles him. And he talks back, sometimes with a smile on his lips (eyes dancing!) and at times, with a pout and creased brows. And he break dances! Break dancing here means moving his head as far back as possible, neck stretching, arms wildly waving, legs kicking and body wiggling. Hard to imagine huh? It’s even harder to hold him if he breakdances, which is quite always. Things are going good for Matt- thanks GOD! And we pray for his welfare always.
Three months. And Matt’s Mama is already back into wearing some of her old clothes and pants. Really huh??!! Really. Well, who would not lose those pregnancy-fat when I do almost all chores for Matt- from cleaning & sterilizing his bottles , washing & ironing his clothes, to diapering and waking at night-almost hourly to breastfeed (NOTE: Hubby is away.). Not that I am complaining because I couldn’t complain (God has been so good to us) and there’s really nothing to complain if you get down to the bottom, that this is all for one dear son. Then again, my mother relieves me with some of these motherly duties-and boy I’m just soooo grateful! And there’s just so much to be grateful—like these duties, which keeps me trim that I don’t need to go to the gym anymore (saves money) and I don’t need to buy myself more new clothes (saves much more money). Thanks GOD!
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Ma's corner - 12/12/06
Today, I woke up from the slow movement of my son beside me. I waited another few more minutes- I knew Matt would soon wake up. Let me have this moment, just savoring the sight of my sleeping baby. Before I knew it, my son is slowly scanning the room with sleepy eyes, adjusting to the dim lighting.
Time is 5:30AM. We still have 30 mins for our o-o play (*o-o time for us means coaching my son to defecate, usually few minutes after waking up), before I'd hurry to take a bath and ready myself to work. Even on Saturdays and SUndays, I do go to work (but only for this month).
After more encouragements (on my side) and few gruntings and pushes (on his side), o-o time is over. Time to clean up the mess.
Time is 5:30AM. We still have 30 mins for our o-o play (*o-o time for us means coaching my son to defecate, usually few minutes after waking up), before I'd hurry to take a bath and ready myself to work. Even on Saturdays and SUndays, I do go to work (but only for this month).
After more encouragements (on my side) and few gruntings and pushes (on his side), o-o time is over. Time to clean up the mess.
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