Ma's Corner 3/17/06:Little Sacrifices

Sacrifice is the seal and trademark of becoming a parent. An inevitable part of parenthood. A reality that I've learned these days.

Everyday, when I leave my son to my father, my heart breaks. Everyday, I spend the last minutes at home (before leaving for work) lulling Matt to sleep in my arms with some songs. Sometimes I'd run the risk of getting late just so I can hold him in my arms a little longer, and just so he can continue sleeping (he usually wakes up when laid down to bed). Oh, how my heart bleeds! I'm torn between my responsibility with my son and my work. Everyday I have to decide whether to leave him with my father or file a VL and stay at home. But everyday, I choose to work -because we need to secure Matt's future.

I know there are other working moms out there who, like me, are in this same boat. My mother, when we were still growing up, for instance. She'd used to say that she made sacrifices for us all--her five kids. For one, she passed up her chances for a promotion because she knew it would bring more work responsibility and more pressure, with less time for her family, she would say.(She only applied for a promotion after the 4 of us graduated in college.) Now, I have come to understand better how my mother must have felt those times. Somehow, I know I am bound to make the same sacrifices just like her .

Lately, I have spoken with my boss about my schedule preferences on company events. Some of which I have no choice but to choose later dates. These days, I'm not so thrilled with activities that could bring me away from home for more than 12 hours.Trainings. Field assignments. Office work that requires long hours. So I simply decline these. If I'm not home beyond 5:30PM, I would worry 'coz aside from my son, there are things waiting for me like bottles to wash and sterilize, clothes to wash and iron.

I was not a workaholic but I used to go out of my way to be productive in the workplace.Those days. Simply put, my priorities have shifted. I know this would have an effect on my performance appraisal. But like my mother, there are far more important things in life than a career upgrade.